Friday, August 26, 2011

Hotter Than Hell... Deathrace!

There is a place in Texas that goes by the name of "Wichita Falls". I have been to this place called "Wichita Falls" and can report that it is actually (in Texas!!!1!) named after a waterfall, and they do indeed turn it off at night. The name is of course Indian, and Wee-Chee-Tah roughly translates into "The Place Where Mail Never Gets Delivered", for back in the days when you had to wait six to eight weeks for your cardboard submarine to be arrive, it would usually wind up in Wichita, Kansas.

While waiting for the airplane which was supposed to take the sick little girl to Houston to cross Oklahoma, the city fathers decided that something would have to be done to give Wichita Falls some name recognition. They consulted a consultant who told them to do a fest like everybody else in Texas; cowpat throwing, seed spitting, sheep riding, etc. WF said no, they just turn into giant city wide keggers where all the citizens stay at home protecting their stuff. (Where I come from, a street dance means a lot of breaking and entering.) Plus, they didn't want it to be folksy; they wanted something modern. Thus, the Hotter Than Hell Hundred bicycle race was born. It was a big bold leap; I really thought they would go for the world's biggest farmhouse painted on a sawblade record.

It did put Wichita Falls on the map. This year, it may get the coveted "Most Dangerous Race" award, because the heat is statewide and you know the rest: people do stupid things.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Like Always, The Best Parts Of The Movie Aren't In It

Movie remakes are an abomination to Chris. It's a sign of laziness on the part of Hollywood, and it keeps resources away from stories which have needed the silver screen treatment for decades. For those reasons, I wasn't planning on seeing Rise of the Planet of the Apes, but after stumbling across some of the promotional material, I'm curious.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Rick Perry, El Presidente

My ability to predict the next president of the U.S. out of the primary pack has always failed miserably. I was bracing myself for President Hillary Clinton (never thought I'd miss her) when Senator Barack Obama came out of the middle of nowhere (left field, Chicago, William Ayers' living room) to sweep the presidency.

Having said that, I'm going to say that Texas Gov. Rick Perry is going to be the Republican nominee, and unless President Obama has a economic trick up his sleeve, the next President of the United States. Now, there is a lot going against him; the country may not be ready for another Texan in the White House, and a fundamentalist at that. The press will take an automatic disliking to him, and his record has some issues that will be difficult to explain away. (I'm thinking in particular about the execution of Cameron Todd Willingham, a man who was most likely innocent.)

Nevertheless, I think Governor Perry will persevere, and here is why: He is a professional politician who has been doing the job for a long long time. I always thought, for example, that Sarah Palin would have made an excellent VP. Her flaw though, is that she was an amateur. Now, that's not a bad thing, especially if you think that fresh uncynical blood is what America needs, but she tended to take personal attacks, well, personally. You can't let them bug you, and she did, visibly, which just encouraged the mob. (She is also a woman. I never would have imagined it, but the left really hates women who don't obey their view of what a woman should think. Witness the actions of "Creepy Uncle" Letterman and flat out disturbing Bill Maher.)

Jobs. Texas creates the jobs. It doesn't matter if they are low paying service jobs. People will just see JOBS. That's the big one. The economy trumps everything.

So that's it. Show that you can keep an economy going in the worst conditions since the Great Depression and be able to deflect some of the most vicious attacks in campaign history with grace and wit and the White House is his for the taking. Easy peasy.

As if!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011