Still Beating My Dead Six Legged Horse

  Not really.  While thinking about Avatar, I remembered that there was a character named Avatar in Ralph Bakshi's vehicle Wizards.  The plot is pretty basic: A long time into the future an evil wizard discovers films of Adolf Hitler, which he uses to inspire his troops to go forth and conquer.  The good elves, led by Avatar (who happens to be the bad wizard's brother) try to stop him.  It's frequently animated in glorious rotoscope, an ancient technique that starts out with live footage which gets traced over and colored.  I like the look, but some consider it cheating, probably because it has become associated with tight budgets.

  The film itself is a mixed bag.  It's one of those productions where the sum isn't as good as the parts. Often the more rounded, well... cartoonish characters are out of place in front of the sharp and angular Ian Miller backgrounds.  There can be a sudden shock when well done animation runs out of cash and turns into a rough hack job.  It's like Jake is about to fly off the cliff with his lizard thingy when James Cameron calls  "Halt! OK, did the intern make that blue pipe cleaner figure?  Great, put it on a paper airplane and throw it out the window.  No blue screen, just film it on the way down.  That's a wrap!"  It's that sudden, and it's that crude.

  It's got some good points too.  This is the earliest example of the Working Class Minions of Evil trope I've come across so far.

  If you don't want to watch the whole movie, this clever editor has made a music video which compresses the whole movie into five minutes.

  Lastly, here is the dramatic finish.  I sometimes wonder why Lawdog doesn't have this scene on a MP4 player surrounded by candles.

  By the way,  if you know your AD&D, you'll have noted that Blackwolf is a lich.  Since they didn't destroy the phylactery, he can come back for the sequel providing that Bakshi can finally get the funding.

  "A lich?  Are you serious?" Asked Dr. Cato, giving a smile of disbelief.  "You are a a man of science, a man of learning.  How could this be?"

  "I know it sounds incredible,'' Responded Professor Ibrahim from the holophone, "But like the Prophet said, if you remove all improbables,  whatever is left must be true."

  "But why?  Why would this thing come back to life after slumbering for so many centuries?" 

  "We think it's because you removed the objects from its tomb.  Replace them, and it should become quiet again."  Ibrahim held up his hand.  "I know what you are thinking, why not just ask for them back?  Why go on a killing spree?  You have to remember that this thing comes from an evil place in the distant past.  Amerikkka, during the age of Jahiliyah.  Things were very different then.  We don't know all the details, because the seemed to be ashamed of their evil and put all of their 'learning' on materials which were designed to disintegrate.  High acid paper, plastic which would crumble, and so on, but enough remains for us to determine that Chrishotep is a cereal killer.

  "Yes, we all know the great mental risks you take to reassemble this hideous past", said Cato as he rolled his eyes at Sabrina and made an obscene gesture.

 "What was that?"  Demanded Ibrahim.

  "Nothing"  Replied Cato, I just thought I heard something outside.  "Go on."

  "Well," Said Ibrahim, trying to regain his train of thought, the Old Amerikkkans still believed sacrifices were necessary to maintain the fertility of the soil.  Cereal killers roamed the land kind of like freelance priests."

  "How horrible!" Injected Sabrina.  "Weren't people shocked?"

  "On the contrary, Sabrina.  These people were heroes.  There were movies about them.  Books about them.  They were the most studies and admired persons of that era.  The key is the coins.  Chuck E was a famous cereal killer.  Many believed he couldn't be destroyed.  Those coins could have been a reward, or permission to kill.  We just don't know.  It's too bad they were destroyed."

  "I really don't believe you" Said Cato.  "But for the sake of argument what do we do now?  We are stuck here with this thing roaming around."

  "I'll come and get you when the storm lifts, so find a safe area and sit tight.  I've saved the best for last though.   Get this: We have determined that the crypt isn't just a burial chamber.  It's a time machine!"

  

  

 

One Ton Tomato . . . I Want a One Ton Tomato . . . One Ton Tomaaaaay-to . . .

  I always thought normalized relations with Cuba would be on the way when President Obama assumed office.  On the contrary, things appear to be about where they have always been.  It shouldn't be much of a shock;  Cuba has always needed the U.S. embargo to blame for when things go wrong as well as foster a sense of isolation in the populace.  When there is even a hint of a thaw, you can count on Cuba doing something to make it difficult for the U.S. to normalize relations.  I daresay the election must have created something of a panic down Havana way.  Not to worry though, there has been a odd quietness from the relations crowd lately.  

  Personally I think the embargo needs to end, the sooner the better.   Question is how.  I think it is time to turn Guantanamo Bay into a free trade zone.  I was thinking Hong Kong at first, but since the American turf is between Liechtenstein and San Marino in size, it will just have to be a capitalist Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy.

  I know some will argue that it is too valuable as a military base, but if something is too valuable, it shouldn't be.  American bases really don't belong where they are not wanted, and if we really had change in mind for Cuba, there is no better way than giving them what they say they want-and on their own soil too.   

Works for Thee but not for Me

  Every now and then, someone has a habit or mode of behavior that I find admirable.  I then think that I should emulate such behavior if I find it so great.  From one of my bosses, Ron, I learned not to make jokes about situations even if your intent was to set a person at ease.  I had just started work and needed a day off to go to the doctor.  Told Ron, he said no problem.  Got home and realized that I had told him the wrong day.  Went back, Ron said no problem.  Got to the door, noticed I had told him the correct day the first time, then had to go marching back to the office to ask him to change the schedule again.  I expected  a big show of groaning and sighing, but he didn't.  He just said, "Your health is more important, and the schedule is easy to fix.  Don't worry about it."  Saved me a lot of embarrassment, and I follow his example.

  From Mike, I learned to always say hello.  We didn't see each other very often, but if we passed he would come over, introduce himself, ask how everyone was doing, say enjoy your movie, and go about his business.  I thought his brief no-nonsense greeting was wise, so for the past year I've been going up to people I think I know and saying hello.

  You know, it might not be such a good idea.  I work a long way from the old haunts, and I've noticed a lot of people move away because they don't want to be known.  Fresh start and all that. Or they don't recognize you and are uncomfortable thinking they are on the spot.  Perhaps they just want to shop and nothing else.  Anyway, sometimes people just don't want to say hello.  

  I think the big culprit is high school.  It turns out a lot of people were miserable, and I wasn't the only one who thought if you weren't a direct friend you were a bitter enemy.  Well into adulthood a surprising number still hold on to these feelings.  Strongly.  Chris' Corollary to Mike's Friendship Law:  Look for (Friendly) Recognition First.

Muslimquisition

   The first Olympics I watched all the way through was the 1984 Los Angeles Games.  It was eagerly awaited for the expected high medal count for the Americans, and a match up between Mary Decker and not really British Zola Budd in the Women's 3000 Meters.   As we all know, everything went according to plan;  Mary Decker got to play the Ugly American, Zola Budd got booed for something other than being South African, and I got to look at Mary Lou Retton's perky smile on the box of Wheaties I had to buy because someone drew in fangs.

  Budd's big problem is that she wanted to run, not get involved in a political situation she had no control over.  Anti-Apartheid activists were equally adamant she stand and denounce as a precondition.  She refused, and I think it was the right thing to do.  Don't get me wrong; if you have an event dedicated to sportsmanship and the equality of man on the game field, it's a bad show if one team shows up dedicated to exactly the opposite.  So the team, yes.  The individual, no.  I should make that clear, because...

  ...I think the solution to the "Ground Zero Mosque" controversy is for those behind it to refuse to take any money from a country which refuses to allow religious freedom.  Denounce it, if you will.  The press should be asking where the money is coming from, then wondering if it's ethical to take it, and doing so until there is a clear answer.   (Kind of like how they should be peppering Mexican officials about Mexican immigration law...)   The elephant here is not religion, it's Saudi culture and their ability to steer the conversation their way.  Too bad there are few reporters as pig-headed as Zola Budd.

  P.S.- If you do think it's about religion and Americans being hateful and bigoted, let Zionists build a Jewish cultural center a stone's toss from the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps, then lecture about tolerance and building bridges.

Chris Raves: It Was Better Than "Wing Commander!"

  While thinking about Avatar, my mind wandered to other similar Earth military in space (say it Pigs in Space style) themed shows.  Foremost was :

Fox Network Presents to be Canceled Soon:

Space: Above and Beyond

Starring: Crusty Commander- Miss Bad Ass- Rebel Without a Clue- All American Minority- The Driven One

Featuring: Admiral No Nonsense- Slutty Villainess With 80's Hair- That Guy Who Got Famous Playing Himself 

Special Guest Star: Red Shirt

Based on that movie we didn't watch.  Based on that book cover the director found blowing down the street.

  It was derivative to the extreme, yet somehow it managed to work.  I thought all the actors did very well considering what they had to deal with, and I wish some had gone on to bigger stardom.  Good special effects for TV, ship design was wanting.  (Why is the X-Wing still the standard?)  There was even a willingness to throw in some ethical problems and character development. 

  I like more lasers and robots with my space wars, so Space: Above and Beyond is a matter of personal taste; however, I must say this scene is one of the best in sci-fi TV:

 

I Keep Having This Dream Where I Forget to Turn in My "Avatar" Essay

  Saw Avatar twice in the theatre and thought  it was passable.  What I liked the best was the amount of detail put into everything.   (Except the script.)  So often I see a movie that has very good creature effects, but then it is all ruined when you see a tree on the alien planet which looks just like the one in your back yard.  I suspect so much has been put into this movie the tiny little buzzing insects were given tiny little detailed insect bodies, and some time in the future you will be able to focus in on one of them with your DethRay DVD and see them going about their tiny little insect business.

  That's what makes it bad.  I don't have  BluRay or LCD, so without the magic of theatre seating the standard def DVD doesn't leave you anything to wonder at, except the script, and that is for all the wrong reasons.  Methinks this is the first movie designed for the hi-definition crowd, and it should be considered that way, much like Tron was a showcase for computer graphics.

  If you like the Larry of Araby theme in movies, this will do the trick, but if you want something just like it you can watch on that TV with the rabbit ears, you can get the same experience with Ferngully.   Or Battle for Terra.  Or Pocahontas.   

His Excellency The Chairman of BudgetMart has Authorized Me To Place into Your Account...

  Scammers have always been a problem, but they have become so bad upper management has resorted to sending messages out several times daily reminding employees not to give away money.  The most worrisome has been the caller claiming to represent the very highest levels threatening to fire an employee if they don't give the winner of the lawsuit their court awarded damages.  It works very well.  We've been lucky; ours walked in with a letter written on notebook paper telling us to refund a long list of items.  We're just looking at her like "Aren't you even going to try?"

  Half of the issue is trust.  I was coming home from work once when I stopped by a drug store.  I was wearing standard retail type clothing, and the drug store was doing a reset.  I was trying to shop, and people were walking up to me asking me what to do.  So I told them.  "Ok,  you've got your plan-o-gram-o here and you want the top to be facing the front of the store..."   I looked like one of them, so it's reasonable to assume I was one of them.  They wouldn't have been able to function if everyone there had to ask everyone else for ID, then verify that the ID is valid, then verify that the verifier is who they say they are, and so on.  Eventually you have to stop and trust that someone is who they say (or dress) they are. 

  The other issue is intimidation.  In retail, the employee is the thief, and they let you know.  Our Loss Prevention Officer isn't a bully, but he does like to use the tricks.   "Getting a divorce?  Wow, I bet that's expensive."  Asks people what store they are from, then smiles and says he has heard some things about that store.  I suppose you have to do it, but it also creates employees who are afraid all the time and err on the side of being helpful.