Hello...?

That was one heck of a holiday season.  Sales were actually flat or slightly less than last year, but they showed an increase because of the rising price of basic foodstuffs and the continued high cost of petroleum.  The company did turn a profit however, by using the standard practice of cutting hours. (If anyone talks about how the American worker is getting more productive, I think they are missing some basic points.)

To me it's getting to the point of being counterproductive.  For example, we had a small increase in hours the days before Black Friday, but they were slashed the next day for Cyber Saturday.  There is really no innovation anymore; the response to on-line shopping is not to meet it head on, but to give up and cut hours to save money.  It's getting to the point of being ridiculous. I've written about the troubles we've had with out sewer system, and they came back this winter.  The basic problem stems from the fact that the sewer line runs next to the loading area.  Decades of rumbling trucks have caused a slump in the sewer line.  Normally there's not too much trouble, but cold weather combined with...  it's better explained with song:

That's about the right size.  

...can cause material to settle and solidify in the slump.  We will defend our old style toilets to our last breath, because they use enough water to push everything out of the slump and on down the line.

Anyway, the toilets began to flush slowly, then not at all.  the plumbers came out and did what they could, but all left without truly fixing anything, because the toilets would back up again the next day.  The last time I was in the restroom with a plumber, he flushed the toilet to see what would happen.  Of course the water level in the bowl started to rise...  and then stopped inches from the rim.  hmm, so I pulls off the tank lid and see that the float has been adjusted so that the tank fills at most halfway, if that.

Here's what happened, although I have no proof.  Some idiot says "If we use half the water we normally use every day in our stores, we can save x amount of dollars on the water bill every month.  If we multiply that by y number stores and multiply that by 12 months a year, we save a number that makes me look innovative."  Even bigger boss says "Make it one-third. Send out the word to the DMs."

I'm also starting to run in to Obamacare.  You know that stuff about companies cutting back full time staff in order to escape health insurance costs?  Yeah.  It's starting to hit hard. Try telling a new employee that they can only get fifteen hours a week, they can work another job but have to be available when we need them and the schedule comes out the evening before the new work week begins.  And you have to have a car.  They look at you like "I can't afford to fuel a car on fifteen hours a week, much less buy one."  That's when I push the employment packet across the desk and point out the insurance plan:  How to Apply for Government Cheese.  Because Your Company Cares.  No lie. Got a hotline and everything.

Yes Virginia, You Can Run A Country On Unicorn Farts.

For an election that didn't change the presidency, the House or the Senate, this was probably one of the most historic elections of all time.  Ideology has now triumphed over reality.  We are now a corrupt banana republic continent sized Greece, and no one cares.  The people have spoken, and this is what they want, as long as someone else pays for it.  If I were the Republicans, I would think for a while about making a hard step to the left, and giving America what it wants in spades, then forming a new party to clean up the mess.

Music for Halloween

Yeah, it's a day late but I felt I had to do something.


From Shawnee, Oklahoma.  One of the many places across America the Oil Company accidently drilled a hole to Hell.

Halloween really snuck up on me this year.  I had plenty of warning of course; I've been looking at Halloween merchandise since August, but things just haven't looked Halloweeny.  The radio stations kept to their usual playlists, and I really didn't see that much on TV.  (Don't watch much at all though.) The trick-or-treaters were out in force and the local zombie walk looks like it is on it's way to being a tradition.  Still, there were fewer lights on, everyone was home at seven, and the local preacher didn't bother to publish his "Halloween is Satanism" (using the World Book Encyclopedia as primary reference) letter in the paper, and no one decorated.

Don't know what it is, or if it's part of a trend.  I'm sure the economy, uncertainty about the future, and Sandy all played a part.  On the other hand, what was once exclusive is now everyday.  In entertainment, we are pretty much flooded with vampire and zombie TV shows and movies.  Erotic vampire romance has taken the place of Nick Carter and Mack Bolan on the supermarket book shelf.  There are also ordinary people.  Pinhead used to be kind of scary, Now, well, I'm sure someone is working their way up to it as an expression of individuality.  Basically, if Americans are walking around looking like extras from "Apocalyptico" everyday, you really can't dress up any more than that.

People of Wal-Mart

Disclaimer: I don't care if you are into body modification, tribalism or whatever they call it these days.  It's your business.  Just don't ask me for a job or to pay your unemployment when you can't get one.

I Have Had Enough Of This #^!@$ Chris On This #^!@&$ Train!

As the anonymous writer of the revolutionary pamphlet Virtues of a Deep Fried Hot Pocket, Properly Aged it may come as a surprise that I am very picky about restaurant food.  In fact, Gordon Ramsay would probably be telling me to keep my voice down, it's not that bad if we ever ate somewhere together, like a train.

Meals came with the sleeper ticket.  Much like the sleeper compartment itself, the passenger feels obligated to use what has been paid for to the utmost.  As a result, I found myself shambling towards the diner car more than once, despite knowing what was waiting for me.

First the good.  portions are very large;  no one goes away hungry.  Second, meals come with a side salad.  They were always fresh.  No overly ribby lettuce, and the tomatoes had no rancidity to them whatsoever.  The salad was also dry, a pleasant change from the soggy ones I often get.  Third...  uniforms of the dining crew were nice...?

The bad:
Seating.  They have communal seating.  Even if there are plenty of booths available they insist on seating four at a table.  They call it part of the experience, I call it lazy. I also call it terror on the tracks. If you don't time your arrival perfectly, you could wind up by the window with no way out and no barrier between you and your boothmate.
Bread.  A little under cooked, still white on top.  Dry.  Nice hollow sound when thumped.  Breakfast biscuits the same way.
Meal One, Fish.  Mushy.  Served with vegetable medley.  I hate side dishes that are lumped together as an afterthought.  Cold.  Also served with vegetarian chili.  Interesting.  Nice try, but if you are going to be innovative, get it right.
Meal Two, Eggs and Bacon.  Think the bacon was microwaved.  No much of an aroma.  Ordered eggs scrambled dry, but got a plain omelette instead.  Scrambled eggs are supposed to be fluffy, but they poured mixed eggs into a pan and let it cook until the bottom was done , then put it on the plate.  Still jelled on top.
Meal Three, Half a Roast Chicken.  Not totally fond of chicken, but I do enjoy a roasted one in a bistro setting.  Rather bland, skin not crunchy. Few too many bone splinters. Green beans were cold.
Meal Four, Steak.  Actually good!  Too bad it took an hour and fifteen minutes to get it from the moment I sat down.
Dessert:  Not freezer burned, but they had a texture which is difficult to describe. Imagine if something is very deeply frozen, then quickly thawed.  It's as if the cheesecake kept the crystalline form internally despite being  soft all the way through.
The Staff.  Some were inattentive, others were inexperienced.  Chef  stewards were professional, but the rest need some help.

Overall, probably not as bad as I make it out to be.  You have to take the circumstances into account, but I've eaten in places where full meals were freshly prepared in areas much smaller than the bottom deck of a train carriage.  I didn't make a snobby visit to the kitchen, but I suspect the main problem is over reliance on the microwave.  Cook something, then put it under glass right away; that's the main impression.

Better than airplane food I imagine, but sixteen dollars plus for a plate should get you something really good. All the trains also had snack bars on board where you could get drinks (cans, not bottles) packaged food and cold sandwiches, all pretty affordable.  That is probably the future.  Amtrak could do a lot to improve efficiency and reduce waste, but I imagine an outside vendor (sorry Aramark, but I hope it's not you) taking over meal services with an expanded selection in the snack bar.

Your Chamber, Sir.

Accommodations are pretty snug.  The sleeper cabin measures six feet long and three feet high.  It's not claustrophobic though, because if the upper bunk is kept folded, there is plenty of headroom.  It's definitely designed for the thinner generation of the 70's: I thought there was a nice (thoughtfully carpeted so you stuff wouldn't fall off) end table where I kept my wallet and stuff at night.  Turns out they were the steps to enable the more spry member of your party to vault himself into the top bunk.  

Everything is built solid.  Metal and glass abound.  Ergonomics are a buzzword of the future.  It's kept up well, but there are the usual problems of stuff that is getting old.  Speakers don't work and lights don't always come on.  It's not always a bad thing though.  There is supposed to be a closet in the room, but it is only a few inches wide and not very practical.  The closet is missing in many rooms, and that provides the perfect space for a suitcase or bag. Biggest problem quelle horreur! is that there is only one power outlet and..  and..  NO WI-FI.   You would think that's a problem considering the two-day aspect of the trip, but time moves pretty quickly.

Overall it's comfortable.  During the day.  At night, no.  The two seats in the cabin lay flat, and a mattress that is stored on the upper bunk is put on top.  The seats don't meet all the way, and the mattress is thin, so you will wake up with a backache right about the spot where there is no support.  What is a gentle rocking during the day becomes violent shaking at night.  Also expect a cherry "Rise and shine!" from your cabin attendant no later that 7:30 AM.

Pt.2: All Aboard!

The first thing I noticed about train travel is  a comparative lack of security.  There were no guards at the doors, my bags were never searched and no one ever asked me for ID.  If you had a valid ticket, you were good to go.   In fact, they didn't have any problem with non-passengers waiting in the lounge or coming out to the train with you.

Part of this reflects good sense.  What are you going to do with the train now, Mr. Terrorist?  Move it back and forth after the passengers have jumped out the windows and doors?  The other part is that they intentionally cultivate a "family atmosphere", in fact, the train to Dallas was 45 minutes late while they kicked off some kids for smoking weed.  Cause trouble, and they stop the train.  I took sensible precautions, but I never worried about leaving my stuff unattended at any time.

The bad about this casualness is that it's very confusing at times to figure out what is going on.  Sometimes they scan your ticket at the door, sometimes in your room, and sometimes in the lounge.  Train 20 to Chicago won't necessarily have a big "20" on the nose.  Like any other mode of mass transport, the speakers don't work very well; of course I was next to the lady (my grandmother did the exact same thing) who was loudly reading the ingredients off of a Chicken McNugget  sauce packet while I was straining to hear which door I was supposed to assemble at.  I just acted like one of those cleaning robots that trundles along until it hits a wall:  Asked the first Amtrak employee I saw which way to go and went that way until I saw another Amtrak employee.  I repeated the process until I was firmly in my seat.

Next: amenities.

Chris Starts Training

I wanted to look at monuments and statuary without the insane hassles which come with flying, or the exhaustion which comes with days of driving.  Since my preferred method of travel, zeppelin service, is not yet available, I elected to give Amtrak a try.  Here is how it went, for those of you (like me) who haven't taken that mode of travel yet and are curious.

First of all, thanks suckers!  Amtrak burns through taxpayer cash faster than a solar energy startup.  Of course, railheads like to point out that other forms of transportation have public funding involved as well, and they are right.  Even the profitable freight lines on whose rails Amtrak has to run wouldn't be there without the public handing them large tracts of America way back when.  My personal view is that infrastructure is a vital part of keeping America together and government has a role to play in that.  Exactly what the role is, and how involved are subjects for debate, but like any other program, if it is offered, one should at least consider taking advantage.

With politics set aside for now, let's move on to packing.  I have actually not traveled very far in the last few years, and it has been a very long time since I went anywhere in anything other than a car.  Two things became very apparent to me:  First, you have to be more careful about your packing.  In a car, you can overdo it because it's your car.  You just leave the excess stuff in the trunk or back seat.  Second, the last few years have seen an upsurge in electronic devices.  before I knew it, I had put in my bag the cellphone charger, the e-reader (and charger) netbook (and charger) digital camera (with case, batteries, and memory cards) DVD player (with charger and selection of movies) GPS (with charger) plus the multicard reader and connecting cables.  Don't even get me started on medication.  I'd no idea how much space pill bottles take up.

All told, my bag tipped the scales at about twenty pounds.  My first mistake was to put it in a gym bag, figuring twenty pounds wasn't that much to carry.  Wrong!  When I got to DC, I switched to one of those bags with the telescoping handle and wheels.  Not only do wheels make it easier to haul around, they let you take your stuff into a restroom with a urine soaked floor without getting anything messy except the wheels.  A minor error was to get a hard sided case.  A softside would have been easier to squish into the cabin, and  the extra zippered compartments would have been useful.  Still, the hard case kept everything safe, and it is a snap to clean.

Second mistake was to cram everything into one bag.  While on layover in Chicago, I put my bag in storage, which left me having to carry camera and e-reader in my hands.  My moment of panic was when I returned to the lounge and realized I'd left my Kindle in the restroom.  Amazingly, it was still there when I raced back, but it underscored the necessity of having something to keep your vital stuff with you as well as freeing up your hands.

Next:  Train Inspection