Hotter Than Hell... Deathrace!

There is a place in Texas that goes by the name of "Wichita Falls". I have been to this place called "Wichita Falls" and can report that it is actually (in Texas!!!1!) named after a waterfall, and they do indeed turn it off at night. The name is of course Indian, and Wee-Chee-Tah roughly translates into "The Place Where Mail Never Gets Delivered", for back in the days when you had to wait six to eight weeks for your cardboard submarine to be arrive, it would usually wind up in Wichita, Kansas.

While waiting for the airplane which was supposed to take the sick little girl to Houston to cross Oklahoma, the city fathers decided that something would have to be done to give Wichita Falls some name recognition. They consulted a consultant who told them to do a fest like everybody else in Texas; cowpat throwing, seed spitting, sheep riding, etc. WF said no, they just turn into giant city wide keggers where all the citizens stay at home protecting their stuff. (Where I come from, a street dance means a lot of breaking and entering.) Plus, they didn't want it to be folksy; they wanted something modern. Thus, the Hotter Than Hell Hundred bicycle race was born. It was a big bold leap; I really thought they would go for the world's biggest farmhouse painted on a sawblade record.

It did put Wichita Falls on the map. This year, it may get the coveted "Most Dangerous Race" award, because the heat is statewide and you know the rest: people do stupid things.

Like Always, The Best Parts Of The Movie Aren't In It

Movie remakes are an abomination to Chris. It's a sign of laziness on the part of Hollywood, and it keeps resources away from stories which have needed the silver screen treatment for decades. For those reasons, I wasn't planning on seeing Rise of the Planet of the Apes, but after stumbling across some of the promotional material, I'm curious.

Rick Perry, El Presidente

My ability to predict the next president of the U.S. out of the primary pack has always failed miserably. I was bracing myself for President Hillary Clinton (never thought I'd miss her) when Senator Barack Obama came out of the middle of nowhere (left field, Chicago, William Ayers' living room) to sweep the presidency.

Having said that, I'm going to say that Texas Gov. Rick Perry is going to be the Republican nominee, and unless President Obama has a economic trick up his sleeve, the next President of the United States. Now, there is a lot going against him; the country may not be ready for another Texan in the White House, and a fundamentalist at that. The press will take an automatic disliking to him, and his record has some issues that will be difficult to explain away. (I'm thinking in particular about the execution of Cameron Todd Willingham, a man who was most likely innocent.)

Nevertheless, I think Governor Perry will persevere, and here is why: He is a professional politician who has been doing the job for a long long time. I always thought, for example, that Sarah Palin would have made an excellent VP. Her flaw though, is that she was an amateur. Now, that's not a bad thing, especially if you think that fresh uncynical blood is what America needs, but she tended to take personal attacks, well, personally. You can't let them bug you, and she did, visibly, which just encouraged the mob. (She is also a woman. I never would have imagined it, but the left really hates women who don't obey their view of what a woman should think. Witness the actions of "Creepy Uncle" Letterman and flat out disturbing Bill Maher.)

Jobs. Texas creates the jobs. It doesn't matter if they are low paying service jobs. People will just see JOBS. That's the big one. The economy trumps everything.

So that's it. Show that you can keep an economy going in the worst conditions since the Great Depression and be able to deflect some of the most vicious attacks in campaign history with grace and wit and the White House is his for the taking. Easy peasy.

As if!

Disadvantaged Youths Redistribute Wealth.

Any lampposts nearby? A firing squad might catch a ricochet.

We Have A New African State. Place Your Bets!

A front in the Third World's War is quiet for now. After decades of fighting, South Sudan is now independent. The future of Africa's newest country? I'd like to be optimistic, but it's going to be gloomy. Reasons?

• They have oil. This is a curse to all countries that don't have industry and infrastructure, and a lot of trouble to those that do. They think they will pump wealth out of the ground and all problems will be solved. We all know it will be spent on vanity projects and sycophants.
• They have never been a nation before. Yes, there have been some civilizations in the north, but the south has historically been the Outland between Egypt and Abyssinia.
• The flag sucks. Standard Africa colors, standard Africa design. I'm a big believer in unique designs that people can rally behind.
• The people who ran the war are running the government. I saw policemen with armbands identifying them as police. Too bad the armbands had "SPLA Police" on them.
• It's Africa.

Now, there is some good as well.

• John Garang is dead. He was leader of the SPLA for many years until his death in a helicopter crash. Sorry, but Moses can't enter the Promised Land. People who fight the wars are pretty crappy at following the laws later on. If you get your way by shooting people and blowing thing up, that's nearly impossible to undo when peace comes. Sadly, Back Up Leader is filling the shoes nicely.

• Potentially, they are rich, rich, rich. Minerals, fertile land, water... they have it all. But so do a lot of places. If the people who inhabited the Nile ever put a few of their differences aside, it would be the dominant region of the world; they have that much.

• They are (kind of) Christian. If your faith has helped you through decades of a war which has been fought partly because the other side doesn't like your religion, that could be something to unite, especially if the evangelicals have managed to pass on even a little of the Protestant work ethic.

Random observations:

• The White Nile and The Blue Nile by Alan Moorehead are the histories to read for anyone interested in the area. Part of my essential reading series.
• I think that the "Tolerant Arabs" is a little bit of a myth that the British had a hand in creating when dealing with the peoples of Empire. "Don't worry, [insert religious or ethnic minority here]! You can form a single country with the Muslims. After all, they were tolerant when the Europeans were burning [insert victim of ignorance here], blah, blah, blah... We're off to ride across the sands!"
• When I was posting on a kind of militant (kind of. Heh.) Islamic site, I had hell trying to convince them that Western governments didn't give a crap about Christians around the world, just like Muslim governments were lukewarm to persecuted Muslims, giving the South Sudan as an example.
• Contrary to common knowledge, borders in Africa were not totally drawn on a map in a European conference hall. It takes a big dip in Chad, but there is a rough line crossing Africa from Guinea to the South Sudan that follows the border between tropical and desert. It doesn't cross Ethiopia because that country sits on a massive plateau with a climate all it's own, but Puntland and Somaliland on the other side are also on the climate divide.

Flying And Drugs. Cut One And Double Your Chances, Rock Star

Amy Winehouse is dead. Sorry, I guess. Everyone knew it was coming. Sometimes you have to cut 'em loose. I hope we don't have any "Dead before her time" Joplin/Hendrix crap.

On the Second Chances front, why am I suddenly seeing Jason Bateman around? Looking at his bio, he's been working more or less since his Arrested Development days, but I haven't seen a Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog moment of career rebirth. Guess sometimes your star just rises again. (Giving everyone else hopes of a second career wind.)

The "News of the World" phone hacking scandal continues, with hackers claiming to have stolen e-mail from one of Rupert Murdoch's papers. Even some of the posts at left leaning websites are mentioning that "when we do it we are heroes, when they do it they are criminals" attitude to electronically stealing stuff is flat out wrong.

Now if that can only be extended to claims about the latest shooting. The facts are still coming in about the attack in Norway, so it's best to hold off until we know more. You would have thought that after the Giffords shooting people would have learned to shut up and wait. It's almost like people want attacks to take place just so they can use it as ammunition against their political opponents.

Trick Question: What Is This Man Doing?

He's changing the battery, of course.

I had a VW that had the battery under the rear seat. It made sense, because the engine was in the back. All you had to do was lift out the straw stuffed seat and there it was. You did not have to REMOVE THE TIRE. I also had to buy a package of those push-in plastic screws because you know half broke while removing the liner. It was actually a pretty easy battery to replace once the tire was off; there was even a helpful "Battery Here" message on the liner.

I wasn't the only one taking photos either. The staff of the parts store had to come out and gawk at the operation, and a few customers had to come by and tell their horror stories as well. It didn't make any sense. I couldn't see any reason why the battery couldn't be under the hood.

This is the second surprise I've had from this car. I'd bought a small freezer and since it wouldn't fit in the trunk, (it's like a Chris cubit tall and deep) the salesman was helping me strap it in. The car manufacturer was helpful enough to foresee my predicament and provide some small recessed loops for you to hook you straps into. Start tightening the strap and the whole thing pops out. Look, glue! The hole left behind was the perfect size to hook a strap to, though.

*I loved the simplicity of the Beetle. To change the motor you needed a wrench, a jack, a pile of railroad ties, and a couple of friends to pick up the rear of the Beetle and throw it over the engine.