Tuesday, August 27, 2013

The Internet Doesn't Have Everything

I know this because I've been looking all night (about fifteen minutes really) for a picture of a plane big enough and on fire enough and heading at the ground at a steep enough angle to represent Miley Cyrus' career. Something like a Torrey Canyon with wings.

Actually I have a rather dim awareness of who Miley Cyrus actually is.  I know she's the daughter of the guy who brought mullets to their logical sad conclusion, and I know she had a children's show which was about her being famous before she was famous and going undercover as someone less famous or something that no one could ever explain to me.  I know the Disney crew are famous for their hijinks when they grow up, but this is a whole new set of weird.  The pictures are crossing my desk, and I'm not sure what to make of them.  Did her tongue hang out to the side all night long?  Didn't any of those teddy bears try to do something?   Did she shave her head?  Didn't someone else do that?

Could it be aliens?  I know back in the 80's they were all about stealing cow organs, but what if they've graduated to brains?  What if something terrible has happened to the aliens and we are now faced with the double threat of technologically advanced zombies? Even worse, what if the Disney kids are our shock troops?

There was a show at the start of the 70's called UFO.  Besides being the the manliest show ever put on TV, it had an interesting plot device: their secret S.H.A.D.O. base was in a television studio.  That way, strange events would be ignored by the general public as props.  But let's put on our Dan Brown hats for a second.  What if, just like Hanna Montana, the cover story in the show was a clever cover of actuality?  God knows they can't sing, so what are young people doing jetting around the world with tons of equipment and strange clothing?  Could their going bonkers be the result of witnessing unspeakable horrors?  Give it some thought.  I'll let Lindsey have the last word.

Don't be silly.  There's no such thing as a lesbo-ray.

Got one with a bazooka from about two feet away.  Didn't have time to change.