Well, Just Be The Best Soylent Green You Can Be

The first casualty of the Supreme Court not overturning Obamacare is poor Virginia.  She's terrified that the next step is a summons from the Star Chamber of Health consisting of Ron Gettelfinger, Van Jones, John Holdren, a Dutch doctor, and an administrator for the NHS.

Things I've Learned from GENE RODDENBERRY'S CHESS SET

How to make a Roddenberry Sandwich:

Take:
 One Entertainment Producer (Executive may be substituted)
Lay across lap of Entertainment Producer:
 One Naked Hollywood Starlet
Balance on ass of Naked Hollywood Starlet:
 GENE RODDENBERRY'S CHESS SET
Garnish with:
 Two lines of Blow

Serve with copious amounts of alcohol.

GENE RODDENBERRY'S CHESS SET

I has it.  I think.
The story is a long one, but in true gossip style, it's too good not to share.  It starts off in high school where I had a friend named Keith.  We were big Trekkies together, but a few years after graduation, he moved back to Arizona where he originally was from, and I figured contact would be lost.  About ten years later though, there's a knock at the door.  It's Keith.  Apparently he and his roommate (who worked as a phone psychic) got into a knife fight over a pizza.  Since Keith was the one holding the knife when the cops stormed in, he's the one who gets to go to prison.  He's decided to go on the run.   "Do you know what they do to gay men in prison?"  he blurts out.  "Get into the car, I'm taking you to the bus station."  I reply.

(Disclaimer.  I have nothing against lifestyle choices.  It's just when your high school chum shows you his photo album and mentions that "He overdosed, he committed suicide, that one was murdered, that one's in prison and I hustle for drugs."  you get the feeling that you've grown apart over the years.)


Needless to say, Keith got caught and served his time, plus a few.  While he's away, he writes letters to Star Trek cast and crew.  A member of the production crew replies, and when Keith gets out, he joins him in L.A.  They break up a little while later when Keith accuses him of being the one behind the cancellation of the FASA  Star Trek license.  (That, and "Hey, my ten years younger friend and weightlifting buddy Armando is getting out of prison.  Mind if he crashed here a while?"  For a guy who lived on the street, Keith can be pretty dim at times.)

Anyway, I guess as a petty way of hurting him, this person calls Keith and says that Gene Roddenberry has died and they are giving away his stuff to friends and family, and Keith can be his guest and grab whatever he wants.  When they pull up to the house though, he turns to Keith and says "Oh, by the way, all the Star Trek stuff was yesterday.  Today is just household goods."  Keith replies, "Hide and watch, f**."

Told me he found a whole car trunk full of stuff and picked up Gene Roddenberry's travel chess set on the way out.

About a year ago, Keith got back in contact with me on a Star Trek board.  He told me he was clean and sober and doing well enough that he was counseling others and wanted to send me Gene Roddenberry's chess set as a way of thanking me.  Not really sure what for.  Possibly my Vulcanian response to him telling me secrets I wasn't ready to hear.

Anyway, I might have Gene Roddenberry's Chess Set.  Let's celebrate with song.

Get Pyst If You Can Find It. Much Better.

Yes, it's Myst the novel.  All 466 pages.

Sadly enough, Myst was one of four games I payed full price for.  The other three were Interstate '76, Afterlife, and a really forgettable Tomb Raider clone.  Of course, that is the result of me using Newsweek reviews for my gaming information in the early days.

Back to Myst.  I thought it was pretty, and I understand that many people just love it, but even with a cheat guide, I was too bored to progress much past the island itself.  So now they went and wrote a novel.  It can't be that good, because it's $1.25.  For 466 pages. 

Now for all I know it might be superb. My problem with this book, and so many others, is th' us'e of th'e a'post'rop'he to an' ex'cess'ive ex't'ent to fa'ke an alie'n lan'gu'ag'e.  I don't like stuttering while reading to myself.  I guess this will have to go on the unread shelf along with A Day in the Life of a Moon Rock and Clam: The Untold Story of that Icelandic Bivalve Dredged up in 2007.

Of course, if you can't make it through Myst, there are more action packed game based books out there:

You'll need MMX technology in your glasses

Against Kirk-Fu, No Defense

But it's pretty hard on the user as well. Lawdog broke his pinkie doing the Interlaced Overhead Hammer Chop a few days ago.  Beats breaking a rib or shoulder doing the Flying Feet to the Chest signature move.  What he needs now is a new style.  After careful consideration and review, I've decided that  Buck Rogers style is probably best.  (Since shooting them according to the tao of Solo isn't permitted yet.)  With Buck, there are a few judo throws here and there, but it's mostly kicks with one foot firmly on the ground and the other foot never rising high enough to crack the kicker in half.  Nice and safe.  Buck can also throw down the dance moves, which defuses any combat situation by impressing an opponent with your speed and coordination.

Pick out your best horns Darling while I get my dancing sash.

Found this one by accident while searching.  Must have blocked it out.

Yo!  Draconian Empire!  You've been served.

No wonder Princess Ardala figured she could take the Earth with one capital ship and Henry Silva.

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The Internet Smells Of Ozone And Tastes Like Mildew

So I've been having some internet connection problems, especially during bad weather. It's odd, because storms haven't caused much disruption in the past, but the periods of internet outage were growing longer and longer. I did what I could, then called the provider, who assured me that everything was OK on his end. I was plugging and unplugging every cable, and let the cord from the antenna to the power drop to the floor by accident. Water dropped out. Apparently the antenna had weathered through and water got into the line, shutting down internet. When it dried, everything came back.

One of the reasons I delayed getting help is that we are having the very same problem at work, and we have a similar system. Guess I'd better go make a phone call...

If you happen to be lost in a giant supercomputer, cut a cat5 vine for a refreshing drink.

Crop Duster

I could totally see him mouthing "Rat-tat-tat".

Saw a crop duster on my way to work the other morning. He was working both sides of the highway, and that was as high as he would get, probably to keep motorists from driving off the road while squishing themselves down in their seats. Personally, I roll up the windows as fast as
I can and shut off the vents while speeding up. Those pesticides are bad business.

Nevertheless, it's fun to watch. That strip of green at the bottom of the photo is the field he was spraying, and he had just leveled off after climbing up out of it, and I mean out of it. I would swear that this part of Texas is pancake flat, but there are spots low enough to hide a plane for ten seconds or so.