Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I Would Like To Buy A Vowel, Please.

 No Pets Or Mimes.  We Welcome Service Animals. 

A  VIP decided to visit the stores in Outremer today for reasons only known to himself and the three other people who outranked me during the visit.  After store and district, the terms get fuzzy; region, area, division, and so forth, but I knew this guy was up there.  I kind of had an idea he was on his way, but I'm kind of a no-notice, so I just blow it off.  The two who came with him were clearly intimidated though.  He was waiting when I got to the store, walked up and introduced himself.  Pretty nice, I thought.  Older fellow, slightly stooped with a pair of reading glasses perched on his head.  He then takes a rapid march through the isles with three managers in lockstep behind him.  All of two minutes later he's back.

  "So Chris, can you tell me the five areas we zone?"  Blast!  I knew I should have studied.  My manager does a facepalm as I stutter "Well... um..."   I then look to see the two other managers who haven't left their places behind him jump into action.  District is making quick chopping motions with his hands as he mouthes the words.  Regional is going all out.  He puts his hands in him armpits and shivers.


  District catches on.  He mimics eating as Regional pretends to open a can.

  "Canned goods!"

  District leans his head over and scratches rapidly.


 Regional is pretending to swallow something.  District pretends to stab his inner elbow.

 "Medicine...  Right?" 

  Last he moves his index finger like he is pulling a trigger while making a circular motion with his other hand.  Chemicals.  But chemicals is too far away from the front where I am posted.  Could he mean automotive?  It's a high loss area.  Could he mean paper goods?  It's not really something you have to pay attention to.

 "What is paper goods?"  I say with conviction.

  "This is a well disciplined team" Says the  VIP and marches right out.  Regional follows on his heels.  District is right behind them checking his pulse.

  I look at my manager.  "What were they all about?  See that?"


  1. Too funny, but I'm not surprised by what management will/can/has done... :-)

  2. As opposed to my husband who went in on his regular day off to prep his area for the head honcho visit to the store on the following day, and guy comes a day later then scheduled and never even goes near husband's section. Oh well, it means we can go as a family to the local fair on Saturday, so it's a win, even if not for the store.

    I can sort of see the circular motion being the outline of a paper plate, but what did the trigger pull signify?

  3. I don't know where you work or what you do, but is you've got areas of land completely surrounded by water "He then takes a rapid march through the [b]isles[/b] with three managers in lockstep behind him" then I wanna work where you do.

    stay safe.

  4. L-G, he was mimicking cleaning a window. I didn't know if he meant glass cleaner or paper towels. I may have gotten the sections wrong. Management could have just been checking to see if I was alert.

  5. That makes sense. For some reason I wasn't picturing the round motion being perpendicular to the ground, but rather parallel.

    I suspect that sometimes my brain isn't turned on.